THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU PEOPLE!!!!!
What the hell was I thinking? I get that audiences like to see their reviewers suffer, just cuz, but now I take it all back. I feel sorry for those poor people who have to watch shitty movies for a living. And then talk about them with whatever intellect they have left in their brains.
So, Quest for Camelot. It's pretty much one of those warner bros. Disney knockoffs that is best summed up with one word:
You know, I think I watched it so many times as a child because I had no idea what was going on in the movie most of the time, but I will try to piece it together.
So it's an Arthurian story with the round table etc. and our protagonist Kayley wants to be a knight etc. sings about wanting more, you knew it was all coming. The Excaliber gets stolen by this guy Ruber, and her father dies etc.
She goes on a quest to get it back, finds a blind hermit named Garrett, and I swear to God, this is when the movie turns into Medieval Furngully. Plants start moving, and flying, and, and, and, I don't even know. There's also a two headed dragon who is (are?) essentially the Genie, doing Elvis and Phantom of the opera references. And then Ruber's making human/animal + weapon combos with ACME potion pulled from his cleavage.
And there's some epic battle, and Garrett and Kayley get married/knighted and they all live happily ever after.
NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!ASK ME TO DO A TERRIBLE MOVIE AND I MAY HAVE TO HURT YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(of course I wouldn't do that, but god this movie's horrible)
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